Chronicling my mental health journey with strange metaphors and raw emotions.

In the span of four months, I have been diagnosed with three… things. I’m not even sure what their category is officially called.

Anxiety, depression, and ADHD.


To say it’s been a long, hard year is an understatement. It feels like the punches have been coming from every direction in a nonstop combination ever since May when I fell into my deep depressive episode, which took months to climb out of.

The anxiety diagnosis wasn’t a surprise, because I’ve always viewed myself as being a little bit anxious. The real surprise was how deep rooted and controlling it is…

It’s time to learn the truth about this misunderstood disorder

From the moment you wake up, there it is. Those horrible thoughts are sitting in your mind. They’re nagging, maybe even yelling. You feel this irresistible urge build up inside, begging you to do something, anything, to curb the anxiety. Some days it’s the same compulsion of checking to see if you accidentally poisoned someone. On a different day, you start thinking about blinking and focus on each individual blink. The new compulsion sticks around for whatever feels just right. It must always feel right, so you do it. Your brain is telling you that it’s the only way to…

Mont Blanc has more than one thrill up its sleeve

The first glimpse I got of the Alps was a dark, looming shadow behind rows of scattered homes. We were driving from Geneva, Switzerland to the small French town of Chamonix following the several hour ride on the TGV. It was around 21:00. If I hadn’t known better, I would have assumed the shadow in the skyline was an impending group of stormclouds.

We settled into our cozy hotel after finding some mouth-watering comfort food at a nearby restaurant. Our room embodied my vision of a ski-bum hangout; a large neon wall light, a cow-hide rug, a small tea set…

I’ve fallen in love with a place I have to leave

As I sit on my balcony with the midnight air cooling my skin, I cannot help but reflect on my time in Paris. This historic, beautiful city has not let me down at all. I love the buses that take forever to arrive. I love the highly-coveted, horribly patterned metro seats. I love that nearly every apartment has a balcony, no matter how big or small. I love how they seem to disregard things we would consider ‘bad habits’ because c’est la vie.

I love how it can feel impossible to navigate the streets because the road signs are on…

Is Eric Church setting the tone for other fan clubs in the music industry?

Eric Church is currently on the Double Down Tour throughout the U.S.

In 2006, Eric Church released his debut album, Sinners Like Me. Three months later, he was kicked off of Rascal Flatts’ tour for playing too long. This kick-started his new reputation, one that would force him to take a longer road to success on Music Row, into gear. Not that he was complaining.

It’s no secret that Church is the rebel of country music. And, to anybody who listens to his music or follows his social media, it is no secret that his only soft spots are his family and his fans.

At first glance, his rebel image jumps out…

It’s time to shut down the stigmas surrounding independence

My view of the Les Misérables stage amid a sea of audience members.

I walked down the vibrant red stairs into the stalls, a suppressed smile on my face, and gazed around the room. I was one of the first attendees to arrive at Queen’s Theatre, but several couples lingered around the room. My first stop was the bar. I ordered a single glass of merlot and settled into a plush armchair. I was entirely content to sip my wine, read my program, and people-watch. All by myself.

For some reason, a handful of people felt the need to tell me this was wrong.

As I was excitedly telling a friend about the…

“I won’t be a rock star. I will be a legend.” — Freddie Mercury

The chills sweep through my body like a breeze, as if my brain forgot that I had watched this scene unfold twice before. The camera cruises over the Live Aid crowd towards the Wembley Stadium stage as the audience raise their hands and clap in unison, just as mesmerized by the live performance as those sitting in movie theatre chairs more than three decades later. Rami Malek embodies Freddie Mercury in a way that seems humanly impossible, and his revival of Freddie’s spirit is causing movie-goers to have Queen playing on repeat.

Image credit: Fox Movies

I am one of those hooked movie audience…

Olivia Cowden

Ran away to Paris for a bit. Nashville-based undergrad. Aspiring to learn more about the world each day.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store